Faith and Fear

This is a sappy post. Read at your own risk.

 

I got the job I asked for. I’m being paid to live in various countries and do what I do best–sway people. I am fully aware of how awesome this is, and how much I don’t deserve this. Heck, I’m going to Malaysia soon! I actually am being sent, for free, to a country I have wanted to see for at least a decade. 

But this job is hard! Not so much the work–it is something I’m suited for. But while I have never been super close with my family, I’ve become accustomed to them being near. I was able to go out on my own and try or fail, because I knew someone would be there to help me pick up the pieces–maybe that was my parents or grandparents, or maybe a best friend. On the flip side, I was able to be there for the people important to me! Weddings and bad days and health crisis–I could be there in no more than 2 hours. 

So now, sitting in my room in Belgium, it’s hard to know that my grandfather is having health issues and I can’t even be at the hospital with my family. It’s hard to still be positive about this job when right now I’m confronted with such a negative. And it’s really hard to feel like you have abandoned your family to follow your dream. 

I know my Pops is proud of me, and that he wouldn’t want me to worry about him. But that is a hard thing to do. 

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